Unshakable desire

It started with a gentle knock. I barely heard it. I was worked up North at a Fly in Fishing Camp in Saskatchewan. I remember standing on the dock looking out on the calm waters and contemplating my existance. I remember raising my arms above my head and breathing deeply. In that simple movement linked with breath I felt a stir, a quiver of what was yet to come.

I sit thirteen years later on the beaches of Goa, India, midway through my first one month Yoga Teacher Training Intensive. The faith it took to get me here amazes me. How many moments along the way I thought I wasn't good enough, smart enough, strong enough, yoga enough. The people who believed in me along the way are my greatest gift. Those who lite the fire and asked more of me I will forever remember.

The past two weeks have been intense. Extreme elation to deep sadness. Feeling homesick and missing our beds to having a moment of bliss in meditation.

We have come together in the name of stillness, steadiness, and health. It may appear as though we are getting stronger phsically, having breakthroughs in our handstands or our marychi C's and D's, the truth is we are tasting an inner calm that tells us everything is perfect just as it is. Our physical practice sets the foundation of diligence, hard work, showing up when we'd rather have another cup of tea. Our meditation practice teaches us to discover the nature of our minds. As we hunt down our distractions we find a trap door in in our minds that gives us access to a deep urning and desire to find the truth, the present moment, the sukkha. Our pranayama aids in the non-attachment process.

The 16 of us wake early in silence. We pray, we contemplate, we do the work. Our yoga practice sets us up to love ourselves and in turn we love our communites, families and friends they way they need to be loved.